Page 8, Table: The list of data capabilities here does not reflect the OGSA architecture.  I suggest that it be replaced with:

Data description
Data access
Data transfer
Data storage
Data replication
Data federation
Data caching
Data security
Data provisioning
Session management
Distributed transactions

Not all of these are currently addressed by the OGSA Data Architecture but they are all relevant.  Data provisioning has been addressed by the EGA Reference Model.

"Metadata" is not a capability. It is simply data that describes other data.  There are many issues related to metadata, including formats, schemas, ontologies, consistency and more.  Add particular ones if you wish, but don't just list "metadata".

This table should list provenance tracking as a capability.  This could be added to the data section or possibly another.

Page 10, Authorisation:  Note that the architecture whereby a using service "calls out" to an authorisation service is inadequate for some use cases.  For example, the authorisation policy may be associated with the data being processed rather than the processing service.

(Another example occurs when a portal wants to show only those services available to a given user; if authorisation is done by the service then the portal will not have the necessary information).

(Page 10, Application Provisioning: Note that an alternative approach to the problem described is to use a virtualisation-based system).

Page 11, section 4.4: This should be called "Data transfer", or, if you insist, "Data movement".  The body of the text correctly avoids the inaccurate assumption that all data is held in files.

Page 11, section 4.5: This should just be called "Data Provisioning".  The first paragraph seems too general for inclusion here (although everything it says is perfectly correct).

I suggest that you add other sections called "Data Access" and "Storag". You might possibly others called "Data Replication" and "Data Federation".

Page 13, Table:  
  "File Movement" -> "Data Transfer"
  "Data Provisioning and Data Grids" -> "Data Access"
ByteIO should be listed under Data Access rather than Data Transfer.

Page 14, Table:  "OGSA Data" should be listed against Data Access, Data Transfer, Data Replication, Data Storage, Data Federation and Data Security - or perhaps just against "Architecture".  It should not be listed against Data Provisioning.  The GSM-WG should be listed against Data Storage.  Possibly DFDL-WG should be listed against Data Description.


Typos:

Page 2:  The phrasing of the last sentence on page 2 could be read as saying that our focus is only "trans-national collections of supercomputers". This would disappoint most of our industry members.

Page 3, Collaboration Grids:  "should no" -> "should not"

Page 8: "Table 2" -> "Table 1"?

Page 8, Table: There are many references in this table to footnotes that do not exist.

Page 13: "Table 3" -> "Table 2"?

Page 13, section 5.1:  "Table 4" -> "Table 3", "Table 3" -> 'Table 2"?

Page 14: "Table 4" -> "Table 3"?

Page 15: "Geoffery Fox" -> "Geoffrey Fox".