Re: [occi-wg] latest revision of the OCCI rev 1.2 docs
Hi, I'll push the document back into redmine this weekend for review by GFSG. I'll include those minor suggestions you have there. Thanks all, -Thijs From: behrens.cloud [mailto:behrens.cloud@r2ad.com] Sent: Friday, February 19, 2016 4:05 AM To: Metsch, Thijs <thijs.metsch@intel.com> Cc: occi-wg@ogf.org Subject: Re: [occi-wg] latest revision of the OCCI rev 1.2 docs Hello Thijs & All. Docs are looking good! When are comments due by? I have a couple of style related suggestions on the core document. On line 50, the "Open Cloud Computing Interface" could just be OCCI since the acronym has been defined earlier in the paragraph. Also, recently, I've been changing my writing style to avoid the use of passive voice. For example, on line65, it has the phase "can be interacted". That paragraph could be re-written: The OCCI Core specification consists of a single document defining the OCCI Core Model. OCCI interaction occurs through renderings (including associated behaviors) and is expandable through extensions. The copyright date should probably be 2016, I presume. I'm not sure I'm able to post to the occi-wg - please forward as needed. Thanks! Metsch, Thijs wrote: Hi all, Please have a close look at this document set which will become OCCI rev 1.2. A special thanks to all who contributed - but most importantly I want to thank and highlight Boris and Zdenek's work on this revision of the documents! Cheers, -Thijs Intel Deutschland GmbH Registered Address: Am Campeon 10-12, 85579 Neubiberg, Germany Tel: +49 89 99 8853-0, www.intel.de<http://www.intel.de> Managing Directors: Christin Eisenschmid, Christian Lamprechter Chairperson of the Supervisory Board: Nicole Lau Registered Office: Munich Commercial Register: Amtsgericht Muenchen HRB 186928 _______________________________________________ occi-wg mailing list occi-wg@ogf.org<mailto:occi-wg@ogf.org> https://www.ogf.org/mailman/listinfo/occi-wg Intel Deutschland GmbH Registered Address: Am Campeon 10-12, 85579 Neubiberg, Germany Tel: +49 89 99 8853-0, www.intel.de Managing Directors: Christin Eisenschmid, Christian Lamprechter Chairperson of the Supervisory Board: Nicole Lau Registered Office: Munich Commercial Register: Amtsgericht Muenchen HRB 186928
Yes, that OGF Redmine area is looking pretty bare! Hard for people to find the work you have been doing... Alan On Feb 19, 2016, at 10:40 AM, Metsch, Thijs <thijs.metsch@intel.com<mailto:thijs.metsch@intel.com>> wrote: Hi, I’ll push the document back into redmine this weekend for review by GFSG. I’ll include those minor suggestions you have there. Thanks all, -Thijs From: behrens.cloud [mailto:behrens.cloud@r2ad.com] Sent: Friday, February 19, 2016 4:05 AM To: Metsch, Thijs <thijs.metsch@intel.com<mailto:thijs.metsch@intel.com>> Cc: occi-wg@ogf.org<mailto:occi-wg@ogf.org> Subject: Re: [occi-wg] latest revision of the OCCI rev 1.2 docs Hello Thijs & All. Docs are looking good! When are comments due by? I have a couple of style related suggestions on the core document. On line 50, the "Open Cloud Computing Interface" could just be OCCI since the acronym has been defined earlier in the paragraph. Also, recently, I've been changing my writing style to avoid the use of passive voice. For example, on line65, it has the phase "can be interacted". That paragraph could be re-written: The OCCI Core specification consists of a single document defining the OCCI Core Model. OCCI interaction occurs through renderings (including associated behaviors) and is expandable through extensions. The copyright date should probably be 2016, I presume. I'm not sure I'm able to post to the occi-wg - please forward as needed. Thanks! Metsch, Thijs wrote: Hi all, Please have a close look at this document set which will become OCCI rev 1.2. A special thanks to all who contributed – but most importantly I want to thank and highlight Boris and Zdenek’s work on this revision of the documents! Cheers, -Thijs Intel Deutschland GmbH Registered Address: Am Campeon 10-12, 85579 Neubiberg, Germany Tel: +49 89 99 8853-0, www.intel.de<http://www.intel.de/> Managing Directors: Christin Eisenschmid, Christian Lamprechter Chairperson of the Supervisory Board: Nicole Lau Registered Office: Munich Commercial Register: Amtsgericht Muenchen HRB 186928 _______________________________________________ occi-wg mailing list occi-wg@ogf.org<mailto:occi-wg@ogf.org> https://www.ogf.org/mailman/listinfo/occi-wg Intel Deutschland GmbH Registered Address: Am Campeon 10-12, 85579 Neubiberg, Germany Tel: +49 89 99 8853-0, www.intel.de<http://www.intel.de/> Managing Directors: Christin Eisenschmid, Christian Lamprechter Chairperson of the Supervisory Board: Nicole Lau Registered Office: Munich Commercial Register: Amtsgericht Muenchen HRB 186928 _______________________________________________ occi-wg mailing list occi-wg@ogf.org<mailto:occi-wg@ogf.org> https://www.ogf.org/mailman/listinfo/occi-wg
participants (2)
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Metsch, Thijs -
Sill, Alan