--- GLUE-2.0-security~	2008-11-05 10:25:37.000000000 +0100
+++ GLUE-2.0-security	2008-11-20 15:55:44.000000000 +0100
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
-This version 0.2:
+This version 0.3:
   v0.1 initial version
   v0.2 with changes from Maarten.
+  v0.3 with changes from Stephen.
 
 
 
@@ -15,8 +16,9 @@
 implementations.  Nonetheless, some points are independent of which
 concrete data model is employed so some discussion is appropriate.
 
-When deploying an information system conforming to GLUE 2.0 conceptual
-model, consideration should be given to the points discussed below.
+When deploying an information service conforming to the GLUE 2.0
+conceptual model, consideration should be given to the points
+discussed below.
 
 
 9.1 Communication security
@@ -42,11 +44,11 @@
 9.1.2 Data integrity.
 
 The information within GLUE has many potential uses, from operational
-to accounting.  How accurate is the information may depend on many
-factors, including the software agents that publish data and the
-transport used to propagate information.
+to accounting.  How accurate the information is may depend on many
+factors, including the integrity software agents that publish data and
+the transport used to propagate information.
 
-The software used to provide an information system may cache GLUE
+The software used to provide an information service may cache GLUE
 information.  If so, these caches provide additional points where data
 integrity may be compromised.
 
@@ -67,7 +69,7 @@
 
 9.2  Non-repudiation
 
-GLUE conceptual model contains no explicit description of the
+The GLUE conceptual model contains no explicit description of the
 publishing agents that provide GLUE information.  This prevents
 explicitly support for non-repudiation.  In many cases a set of
 publishing agents will provide information for Services in some
@@ -92,9 +94,9 @@
 
 9.3  System security
 
-GLUE conceptual model intended use is to provide an abstract view of a
-grid system.  There are many processes that may make use of this
-information, each may depend on GLUE conceptual model to undertake
+The GLUE conceptual model intended use is to provide an abstract view
+of a grid system.  There are many processes that may make use of this
+information, each may depend on the GLUE conceptual model to undertake
 work.
 
 
@@ -103,8 +105,8 @@
 The GLUE conceptual model has no explicit description of end-users of
 the schema information and no explicit description of authorized
 usage.  In general, is assumed that any authorization controls for
-access to GLUE information is provided by specific concrete bindings
-and software implementation.
+access to the GLUE information is provided by specific concrete
+bindings and software implementation.
 
 It may be possible to identify a UserDomain with those agents
 authorised to use GLUE information and embed authorization information
@@ -115,9 +117,9 @@
 9.3.2 Inappropriate Usage
 
 The GLUE conceptual model provides no mechanism for describing
-appropriate usage.  GLUE conceptual model does not include a
-data-processing model, so providing a description of inappropriate
-usage is considered out-of-scope.
+appropriate usage and does not include a data-processing model, so
+providing a description of inappropriate usage is considered
+out-of-scope.
 
 Individual grids may describe what they consider appropriate usage of
 GLUE information and implement appropriate procedures to ensure this
@@ -140,14 +142,19 @@
 
 9.4.2 Replay
 
-Grid operations may depend on information provided in GLUE conceptual
-model.  A replay attack would revert part (possible all) of the
-information in the conceptual model to some previous state as seen by
-some (possible all) end users.
+Grid operations may depend on information provided in the GLUE
+conceptual model.
+
+If a system implementing the GLUE 2.0 conceptual model is susceptible
+to a replay attack then it is possible for part (possibly all) of the
+information in the conceptial model to be reverted to some previous
+state as seen by some (possible all) end users.  Please note that this
+is a specific case of the more general modification attack.
 
 A replay attack may result in disrupted service.  If security
-attributes, such as authorization, are embedded within GLUE conceptual
-model then a replay attack may result in inappropriate access to data.
+attributes, such as authorization, are embedded within the GLUE
+conceptual model then a replay attack may result in inappropriate
+access to data.
 
 Underlying concrete models and software implementations should prevent
 replay attacks.
@@ -173,7 +180,7 @@
 
 9.4.4 Deletion
 
-The ability to delete information from an information system could
+The ability to delete information from an information service could
 interfere with normal operations; for example, if Services are removed
 then activity that would use those services may be affected; if
 AdminDomains are removed then normal operation procedures may be
@@ -188,16 +195,19 @@
 
 9.4.5 Modification
 
-The ability to modify information is key to providing accurate
-information.  However, concrete data models and software
-implementation should limit agents so their ability to modify
-information is limited and appropriate.
+The ability for an agent to modify information stored in an
+information service is key to providing accurate information.
+However, concrete data models and software implementation should place
+limits on agents so the agent's ability to modify information is
+controlled and appropriate.
 
 
 9.4.6 Man-in-the-middle.
 
-Man-in-the-middle attacks may allow arbitrary modification of data
-within the GLUE conceptual model.  This may have severe influence on
+For a system implementing the GLUE 2.0 information mode, a successful
+man-in-the-middle attack may lead to arbitrary modification of data
+(see 9.4.5).  It may also allow deleting existing data (see 9.4.4) or
+adding additional data (see 9.4.3).  This may have severe influence on
 the systems based on GLUE information.
 
 Underlying concrete models and implementing software should understand
@@ -211,6 +221,7 @@
 operation of systems.  Perhaps, the most obvious is to prevent or
 corrupt the flow of information.
 
-Systems using GLUE conceptual model should understand the risk from
-lack of information.  Appropriate measures should be taken to ensure
-the systems continue to run to the extent possible.
+Systems using the GLUE conceptual model should understand the
+consequences of a partial or complete lack of information.
+Appropriate measures should be taken to ensure the systems continue to
+run to the extent possible.
