Time: About a tenth of a parsec, give or take a few thousand miles.

Ingredients: 2 hackers, 3 trolls, 1 cook, 6 wooden spears

1. Man in the middle attack: skewer wooden spears with hackers, trolls, and cook, 1 each.

2. Expose men-in-the-middle-of-spears to flames on the internet until golden-brown.i'm 

3. Serve and enjoy.