Hi Folks, Steve's on vacation until next Monday. He'll get onto this when he gets back. Well done to all on these document submissions. Cheers, Peter
-----Original Message----- From: owner-cddlm-wg@ggf.org [mailto:owner-cddlm-wg@ggf.org] On Behalf Of Milojicic, Dejan S Sent: 30 August 2005 17:48 To: Loughran, Steve Cc: cddlm-wg@ggf.org Subject: [cddlm] FW: [ggf-editor | Submit GGF Draft - 1558] CDDLM Deployment APIs
Hi Steve,
Below is the feedback we received from GGF editor. Will you be able to look at these? Is there anything that you need help with from the team?
These are primarily minor, editorial things, he gives you credits for your work! Congratulations!
Thanks,
Dejan.
-----Original Message----- From: sf-httpd@forge.gridforum.org [mailto:sf-httpd@forge.gridforum.org] On Behalf Of Sourceforge Tracker Monitor Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2005 10:03 AM To: dejan@hpl.hp.com Subject: [ggf-editor | Submit GGF Draft - 1558] CDDLM Deployment APIs
Greg Newby changed 1558 on 2005-08-30 09:02:48
Status has changed: - New: 'Returned to Author(s)' Old: 'Initial Editor Review' Priority has changed: - New: '4' Old: '5' Assigned To has changed: - New: 'John Tollefsrud' Old: 'Greg Newby' Group has changed: - New: 'Management' Old: 'old-SRM' Resolution has changed: - New: 'Remind' Old: '<None>'
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Summary: CDDLM Deployment APIs Project: EDITOR Tracker: Submit GGF Draft Artifact ID: 1558 Category: Recommendations Track Group: Management Status: Returned to Author(s) Resolution: Remind Priority: 4 Last Modified By: Greg Newby Last Modified: 2005-08-30 09:02:48 Submitted By: Dejan Submit Date: * 2005-07-07 05:56:49 Assigned To: John Tollefsrud File(s): ggf-cddlm-deploy-api.doc Description: This document describes CDDLM Deployment APIs. The CDDLM framework needs a deployment API for callers to deploy services described in the component model languages. This API must support remote access for deployment, terminating existing deployed systems, and for probing
state. This document defines the WS-Resource Framework-based deployment API for performing such tasks. It is targeted at those who implement either end of the API.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Comment By: Greg Newby (2005-08-30 09:02:48) Thanks for this submission. I have several items I would like to be fixed or responded to before moving this document to the next phase of the review process.
First is that the header states this is an informational track document (GWD-I), but the tracker has Recommendations track submitted. Which is the intent of the working group?
For these other comments, use the template in the Editor tracker, or a recently published GGF document, as an example:
Second, please fill in the compete information for the 13 Editor section.
Third, "12 Security" should be "12 Security Considerations."
Fourth, the references nearly all need a lot of work. References need to be complete: - author (or corporate author) - title and (if applicable) volume - publication location (for online sources, the
location)
For online materials, they may only be cited in the References section if they are persistent documents - not to Web sites or other transient content. For citation fo something like a WG's homepage or organization, use an inline reference or footnote, for example, in text: "The Global Grid Forum (http://www.ggf.org)," instead of putting the hyperlink in the References section.
I don't think *any* of the references are complete, and several are simply hyperlinks that don't belong in the References section.
Here is the rule of thumb for references: you need to provide sufficient information so that a future reader (say, in 10 years) can use your reference to find the exact same document you used in your authoring. If it seems unlikely the same document will be available (for example, because a Web page will have changed), then this might be a better candidate for inline citation or a footnote.
Fifth, the GGF logo, copyright statement and IP notice are misplaced (see the sample documents), and you don't need to include the logo.
Sixth, page footers are missing except on the first page (they don't need to be on the first page, but should be on the other pages). Email address, also page number.
Seventh, the Status and Abstract headings don't match the rest of the document, or the GGF's other samples.
I'm sorry for this big list of changes. As you see, none of them are focused on the content -- it's all about the presentation &
(https://forge.gridforum.org/tracker/?func=detail&atid=414&aid=1558&grou their publisher/organization's formatting,
consistently with the GGF standards.
I did read the content, too -- to me, this appears to be a well-written document, and presents valuable information. Once you have re-submitted with the above suggestions addressed, we'll continue to advance it through the editor pipeline as specified in GFD-C.1.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
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